Inco's Irregular Update [23. November 2019]

My dearest friends.

I've grieved these last few weeks. Maybe months, even. I know it sounds over the top, or maybe just as a lyrical quirk to make some sort of statement. But no, I've truly had a sense of grief when thinking of the end as a leader in ReV. Even if I know it's the right choice given my personal life, it's still no easy choice to make. Starcraft defines me, and moreso ReV does. I'll never fully leave it. I'll always keep check on you guys, pop by for a chat, or maybe a game or two. I'll remain ReVian.

But it's a bit hard to simply state such grand words and emotions without explaining a bit of the why. As a sidenote, I'll fully understand and take no offense if you don't give a shit about my personal life and sob-stories. So if that doesn't interest you, feel free to jump down to the bolded headlines and you'll get the important information there

But yeah. I started playing Starcraft when I was around 13, I think. I was introduced by my cousin, although I was fairly sceptical at first. But I got to playing and enjoying it, even though I was often furious when facing my cousin. Storms were bullshit, man. There's no way Zerg could beat a Protoss - especially when he just built a bunch of cannons with HTs among them. Or how was I supposed to know that a Wraith could come to base and start killing off Overlords? Yes, I honestly lost to one single Wraith.

I could never remember what really got me into the game. But I've always liked it. Moreso when I went to a boarding school at high school/college level (hard to translate due to different school systems). And there I found others. Friends who enjoyed starcraft, and I played my very first tournament. To my joy I was able to beat one of the players with a hydra drop in ZvP. I tried the same in a ZvT, bu who would've thought that wouldn't work too well? I lost to one of the two clear favorites in a ridiculously one-sided game.

It kept going somewhat through the first year, but it really took off in the second year. Then InDeptH (aka Yoruichi[ReV]) came to our class, as he'd been to a different school the first year. He quickly became my rival. I had switched over to Protoss, as Zerg was too hard to handle for me. Yoruichi was (and is) Terran. I still remember many of my wins over him. The few I had. He taught me in many ways to stop whining about cheese, and to learn to defend it like a man. He taught me to never give up even if the game is more or less lost. Especially one match, where I had everything in my pocket, but he floated away and I didn't see the danger in it. He rebuilt, and was able to won. He never gave up. Tord[ReV] (Legacy member) also was in our class, and was at first untouchable for us. But Yoruichi not only caught up quickly, but surpassed him. I'm not sure if I ever really did. Maybe in our third year, as I seem to remember at that time I was the only real threat Yoruichi had, but I might be mistaken.

It was such a dear time for me. I was shaped into who I am today, met friends I still have to this date and meet regularly. And so many of our memories were shaped around Starcraft. And it didn't even end there!
After quitting school and moving to a new school, a new sort of school even. We kept together, at least some of us. And Yoruichi and I kept playing. It was during this year I joined ReV. Although it was actually a bit messy at first. I was playing Jobiz[ReV], I think he was called. It was a PvP. I won, and they asked me if I wanted to join ReV. I thought "sure, why not". So I joined, only to find out afterwards that they weren't allowed to recruit people and that it wasn't okay for them to do that. I was let in regardless, though, and they told me it wasn't my fault etc. But yeah, not the best start, so to speak. And after some people wanted to obs a game, but not too many minutes into the game one of the people said something in Italian and left. At that time, pretty much everyone was Italian and spoke Italian, so language barrier was a bit of a thing. I learned afterwards that the guy leaving had said something along the lines of "uff, don't want to waste time watching noobs like these".

But it didn't matter, there were some friendly people to hang out with and play with. But this is getting long, so I'll jump a few steps;

I moved home and worked for two years. Throughout those two years I was able to get into the Norwegian National B-team, which I was able to lead not too long after. I became leader of ReV, and after a while both Tord and Yoruichi joined ReV as well (along with uC.). ReV became a project we worked on together, a continuation of our lives in boarding school. We'd chat together strategizing the future of our clan. We'd call one another, spam posts on the forums. It was so immensly rewarding to have such close friends work together so hard on something. And that something, was Starcraft.

I was also part of various other admin stuff, plus writing for the Norwegian community. And the total sum of it made me feel like I was something. Someone. That I had something to offer. Family* and friends didn't understand it, though. So I got more and more isolated by their condescension. I gained weight, spent like 14 hours a day when I had the chance. But I was isolated because in StarCraft I found purpose. For a young man who'd been bullied and had his sense of self-worth devastated, StarCraft gave me something very dear. Friends. Meaning. Self-respect. A sensation that I had something to offer, where I wasn't completely incompetent.

(*A correction here. My parents were actually quite supportive and did try to understand the the world I was so involved in.)

There were so many friendships formed. So many people I got in touch with. People in ReV, or even in other clans. I'll be forever thankful for these days, as I still have XzOz and Avi as such near and dear friends. Hasunico was somewhat a friend by proxy, but StarCraft was what fully formed it to be a friend-friend. Not just a proxy (which is essentially a cheesey friendship, ey!?). pSi.Grast who is still a friend to this day. psyCrowe whose skill still impress me, and whose return was a joyus event for me. There were so many, and I'm certain I've forgotten some which will make me blush when I remember that I forgot. I was tempted to not mention anyone at all, but that would be wrong, I feel.

However, the it took its toll on me. My health was deteriorating, and the isolation was no good. So when I burned out, I saw it as a sign from God to quit. And I quit it all, clean slate. I wasn't even gaming. Now, whether it was actually a sign or not can be debated. Even as a religious man, I have to admit it made sense I'd burn out. But divine intervention or no, I quit everyhting, and was left with a vast emptiness in my life.
This persisted for over ten years.

When I finally started gaming again, I tried WoW, SC2, LoL, SC2, WoW, Hearthstone. Nothing could quite fill the void. I did try getting back to BW again a few times, but it was never the same. ReV was dispersed.
Then came Starcraft Remastered. Then came you.

Yoruichi and I had a weekend where we installed Remastered shortly after its release and played together. We were absolute shit again and laughed at ourselves, but also had such joy playing the game. I struck me that I felt like...like I was home again. I'd been roaming the world for 10 years and didn't know I was gone until I was back at the doorstep of my home. I felt whole. So I wanted to remake ReV. I even spoke with my wife about it, as I knew it'd take up a lot of time. She saw the importance of it, and agreed that it'd be fine, even if it did take a lot of time.

The reason I'm saying all of this, is that to me, all of you are a continuation of my history with Starcraft. It's just one story, and it's likely very much like any other. For that sake, I wasn't really ever "anybody" to really speak of. But I was at least able to contribute with the little I had, and that has felt so good. Since it's the leadership that truly draws me to StarCraft. The work as an admin. To be able to create events for people to enjoy. To be able to form teams, where friendships can flourish. To be able to see people, to be a friend in dark times. To help. I've suffered for so long and for so many reasons, all I want is to lift some of the pain for others in a similar situation.

That's why my loss is so great. Even if I can play from time to time, and even if we can chat a bit here and there, I can't really work with it the way I'd like. I can't fight for you, the way I can now. There's so many things I want to do, but won't be able to anymore. There's so many of you want to spend more time with - a lot of time with. But now I'll just pop by and speak with whomever is there. No real red thread to follow.
I'm starting to digress too much, and I'm so sorry for that. But it's just so important to me that you know how much I love each and every one of you. And I truly do. So deeply I want for you to be well! Whether we speak often, rarely, if we often fight, or if we're always bromancing - I love you. I love you and I wish for you to be able to be happy and well.
And that's what I wanted ReV to be created around. To love unconditionally. Remove members not out of spite or hatred, but for the greater good. To accept people not for how well they play, but for how they treat others. And to give peopel chances even despite of impressions, not because of them.

My greatest fear has been ReV's death after my resignation. And I'll honestly admit that it doesn't take much for a clan to die. However, I'm filled with hope, trust and pride when I see so many of you doing all that you do. We are builders. We build the clan, and we build the community. And I've gotten more at peace that things will be fine in the future. But remember that it requires hard work to not only maintain the clan, but also to develope! It's primarily the Management's job, but never grow docile. A clan is a living thing. Ever in need of caring and nurturing, ever in need of pruning, and growing, and shaping. Remember that as the new leaders take over, it will inevitable bring change. Accept it, go with it. Voice your thoughts, your worries and your suggestions. For that will always be what's most important - communication. Be it work, relationship, family, or StarCraft - if there's no communication, there's no chance of being heard. Nor to listen.

Be loving. There are actual people in this clan. They live real lives, and have real problems. Love them. Even if you have to kick them out of the clan for the greater good, remember to love them.
Well, I think my sob-story should end here. I do have more to say, but I always do. I'll let you poor souls get on to the next points, so you can get to bed! But please believe me when I say that I love you. Even if we've just met, I honestly do. When meeting new people, the underlying thought is always along the lines of: "How can I make this person's life a better place to be?"
I love you. And if you ever need someone to talk to, whatever it may be (and I mean whatever, I've worked a lot with rough stories, both from real life, and online), then don't hesitate to reach out. I might take long to reply, especially as I'm busy with my newborn son, and my wife. But I will reply.

1. Now, moving over (finally! sorry!), we'll be looking a bit about the plans for the future!

The date of my resignation is set.

On 2. December I will officially resign as leader of ReV. Along with me, XzOz will also resign as Co-Leader and from the Management entirely. I will however remain as admin of STPL, and keep an eye on how things progress the first few weeks. This is partly to be a resource in case anyone is wondering about anything. And partly to voice my concern if I see anything that might steer ReV in a wrong direction. However, I think the Management we have now will do a very good job. Even so, I always like to be safe.
The work distribution will be a bit more defined now than before. And I think it's good that you all know what to expect of the future. So here's the rough layout of what the various admins' jobs are to be:


NarsiL

The other admins take on main responsibility for the clan leagues. NarsiL will still be in overall charge and can put directions to it, but MaytOsS and Hirmu will keep things running and in general do their thing.
This gives NarsiL more time for everything else there's to take care of. Member conflicts, ReV at War, updates for the clan, recruitment, being in contact and playing with the members, and then there's all the other stuff that happens here and there.
Even if NarsiL does little to no work with the clan leagues, he's still in for a ton of work!

MaytOsS

MaytOsS is to take over as head admin for our BWCL squad. He'll also arrange a KotH evening whenever there's time and occasion for it. NarsiL will help him with the clan wars when required.

Hirmu

Hirmu will help me with STPL throughout Season 2, and starting from Season 3 he'll take over as head admin for our STPL squad. For Season 2, he's the one who'll show up for the clan wars, after my child has been born. However, I'll still set up line ups etc.

psyCrowe

Personell, and developement strategy. psyCrowe has a good head for leadership, and good antennas for a clan's state. His input will be very important for further establishing and developing ReV.

buenaventura

Personell, recruitment, clan wars. buenaventura has a good eye for people, I feel, and is really good to talk to and get in touch with. He'll have a lot of responsibility with personell and recruitment, but might also do various tasks in cooperation with the CW admins. He's likely to arrange clan wars as well, assuming his schedule allows it.

BullDog

I've set BullDog as an Event Admin. No clan wars. Only tournaments, show matches, FFA-evenings, team game evenings, UMS map evenings, etc. The frequency will however vary depending on when he has time and such. He is a busy man, so it might come and go, but it'll still be an important addition to the whole of ReV.

This will take effect 2. December. I will make an announcement about it and such there, where I'll also add some words from NarsiL. Or rather, he'll do that as he pleases, but at least we'll announce it properly then



2. My next number on the agenda might not be quite so pleasent: Our manners


I've always tried to be careful not to be too strict on manners. At least when people are laddering and not in any clan war/tournament etc. I think it's important for people to be free. I dread the thought of people stopping to stream out of fear of me watching them be bm, and have me yell at them. So I've let a lot slide. A lot. But we've come to a point where I honestly feel like we're failing our core values. There's so much good in you, and there's so many who're impeccable members in general.

However, we've had people tell others to kill themselves, to go fuck themselves, called people niggers, bitches, motherfuckers, countless games left without gg, people whining about the opponent's race when losing, and so much more. This isn't just one or two people, but many. It's so many and so harsh, that it is an abandonement of our core values. However, I've had a hard time really dealing with it well. And for that I find fault in mostly myself. For I haven't really taken it up with anyone, not really. I've let it slide for fear of being too restrictive. But it goes without saying that some of these are too far. Way too far.
Nevertheless, I've always been honest with myself that it's unfair to expect others to set as high a standard for themselves as I do. And I don't mean that in a sense of people being worse than I. But as a consideration of what is a realistic standard to set for a team in general. I've always known that I've had to compromise here. But how far?

But I'm not saying this in order to start whipping you guys. Especially not since I feel like it'd be wrong anyway. You're good people, just having bad moments. And there's so many others of you who are impeccable, so much so that it feels kinda weird even bringing it up to the clan overall.

No, the reason why I bring this up here now, is honestly because I think we've reached a point where I think it's healthy to consider what our core values should be. Do we wish to maintain the ones we have? To have them as a goal to reach for, even if we know it's unrealistic? Or do we wish to change them? Now that we are to have new leadership, I think it's important that ReV as a whole decides on the direction you wish to take. And that you do it together. Please think on this. And unless anyone does it before me, I'll make a thread when I resign where we are to discuss the future of ReV's core values.
Which goals do you want to reach for? Which values do you wish for ReV to stand on?

You are ReV. You take part in shaping it. And now you can take part more than ever, in forming our values. Please take this chance!

Third point is sobbing again.

I want to thank you all so much for all that we have experienced together. I know I'm not nearly so important to most of you, as you are to me. And that's fine. Many might just think it nice being in a clan, or that it's something you check on from time to time. But for me, I've breathed ReV. You won't believe how proud I feel when I see people chatting with one another on Discord. When I see friendships form. Or when we've had good talks together, be it on our server, or in private. The deep joy of playing games with clan mates. And to see so many of you do so much good work - people stepping up, be it playing, doing admin work, or contributing to the community.
I'm so damned proud of you. Even if you fucks make me tear up just for writing this. You have no idea what impact you've had on me. And you have no idea of how important I think you are. Even if you're often bm, or if you're very silent, or if you never shut up, or if you're horribly bad at the game, or a brute monster of skill. You've really been important to me. And I cannot express enough how much I love every one of you. How proud I am of you. And how much faith I have in all of you.

Keep working hard. Continue building ReV, and the StarCraft community at large. Take part in events, support others and seek the good in others.
I'll remain leader for little over a week from when this is posted. After that, there's just STPL left before I very well may vanish. But I've grieved and have started to feel ready for it.

I love my wife so deeply, and despite how full of shit he's going to be, I already love my son. Good things await, even if its at a price.

But thank you all for all the memories I'll cherish. I do hope my son picks up StarCraft, so our children may play together as well.